it's about letting go of what could have been
only holding on to the things that really matter
Stephanie
16 in Houston TX.
Myspace
I ♥ My Sissy
Hmm
Saturday, December 6, 2008, 9:11 AM
i know what this feeling comes from. i describe it as my heart hurts. i think to myself i need to sit down and think. i need to figure out why i feel this way again.it makes me want to go back to drugs some times. sometimes, it makes me want things i never really had. sometimes it simply makes me want to hug my mom or my sister. but really what my heart is trying to tell me is hey missy, you forgot your directive.
i get too involved in things. that's a big old flaw of mine, when i find something i like i stick with it. when i find something i want i go for it. but i get sidetracked to easily from my goals because of this.
it pisses me off that i have to go to pdap wednesdays instead of my favorite church group. i'll have to talk to my p.o. about that.
it's really quite simple. it's easy to be what my mind and body wants to be. it's easy to give in to those urges and let it guide my life but it's the very difficult to follow my heart and soul. it's difficult to follow God. and it's way to easy to forget about him.
you simply can't be a good person without him. he is good, he is love. we need him every second of every day. we need him in our thoughts and in our hearts to guide us through everything we do. we are powerless to this world and it is impossible to really be without him.
asking for help is hard for a lot of people. depending on the situation it can be hard for me too. but it's a necessity in this life, we can't be truly happy or whole without asking for His help. he is the piece that fills the empty hole in our hearts. with him life isn't easier, but it is much fuller and much richer.
this world is not ours. it is not where our home is meant to be. getting to involved here is a bad thing. getting upset over things here is silly. i'm not saying we shouldn't take things seriously. i'm saying we shouldn't be unhappy with bad results of anything here on earth because this world is full of sin and we should expect that from the start.
i like to fill myself with busyness. that is a mistake. without time to ourselves, without time to think, without time with God, following him is harder. another great flaw of mine, one i try very hard to overcome.
to be honest, i am proud at how far i have come. very. but i'm not done, and i haven't become the best i can be yet. that is my goal.